Polyamory Pagan

I am a Pagan and I'm Polyamorous.

For many these two things have nothing to do with each other but for me I find they are inter-connected.
My religious beliefs and personal faith allows me to be happy with my relationship choices.



A book I recommend is Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera. Kaldera states in his book (specifically when citing an article on polyamory by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart) that the term polyamory came out of the pagan community and thus the two groups of people, polyamorists and pagans, are indeed connected at least in that way.

Notes from my journal: Spell(not)work

Why is my spell not working?

I get asked this a lot by witches who are either just starting out in their craft or this is their first really big spell that they care a lot about the outcome.

I used to respond with – Don’t worry about it so much. Just let it go.

Or – Did you set a specific timeline on the spell? Is it supposed to happen between one full moon and another or one season or (put some time here)?

Or – perhaps it’s simply your karma that it’s not meant to be right now.

The responses are little varied. Most of the time I’m blown off and said witch goes on to find someone else who can give them, what I like to call the Staples Button, quick fix (you know, like the commercial, where they hit the big red Staples button and the solution automatically happens). This magic bullet, or big red button, simply doesn’t exist yet, we all look for it at some point in our lives.

So, what do I saw now when a witch comes to me and asks why, why, why won’t my spell work?

I explain that a spell is like a prayer of intent. We gather our tools to bring the desired vibration then, with a chant or prayer or meditation, we send it out into our reality in order to make change happen. This is the definition of magic spell.

The reason a spell doesn’t work is 2 fold:

1. A spell or prayer of intent must be left alone. This is something I learned when I was in Sunday school at my grandmother’s Baptist church. Worry is a sin. Worry over a matter you’ve prayed for (or have cast a spell for) shows lack of faith in God (or the Universe or the Deities or the higher Self, etc). By worrying over a spell, you’re not allowing it to happen. – The Fix? Let it go! Let your spell work. Let it take its time and work as your path allows it to. By worrying over it you’re sending doubt into the Universe and blocking the very thing you want.
2. The other reason why a witch’s spell doesn’t work is because it does. Confusing? Well, so many witches visualize a spell or intent and expect it to happen with trumpets sounding and a big banner saying THIS IS IT! They don’t realize that the man they bump on the street in a hurry to get to their appointment was the Mr. Right they cast a love spell for or that the Boss’s dog dying was the perfect time to show remorse and letter get that big promotion they cast a money or job spell for. The Universe is subtle and we have to boost our intuition and understanding that every little curve in our path can lead us in the right direction. 

I know that neither of these things offers a quick fix. The life of the modern witch is, sadly, not like that portrayed on television shows like Bewitched, Sabrina or Charmed. There is no all knowing Book of Shadows that offers a spell for every situation, no matter how unlikely, and poof – your demons, inner or outer, are gone and all is well with your world. Magic isn’t all smoke and glitter and big bangs. Sometimes its soft and gently like a summer breeze on skin.

A large portion of spell casting is faith. Faith is simply believing in yourself or in the Universe or Deity that you’ve invoked for the spell and that the spell will come to its fruition somehow. There are ways to build faith.

One way is to build your intuition. This may seem unconnected but if your intuition is strong, you will be able to see the omens as what they really are – signals and messages from the Divine or the Divine Self.

By building intuition and seeing and understand omens, you can better see your ability to walk the path laid out for you AND to see the subtle ways spells work out (without big bangs and trumpets sounding). By seeing these messages, you can better understand how your spell can work instead of running around blindly trying a dozen ways to force your spell to work and having doubts about the outcome.

I want to leave with a note of understanding. I know that life can be hard sometimes but the Witch’s Way or Path or whatever you would like to call it offers the hope of enlightenment and understanding of the world around us. We simply have to open ourselves up to this possibility. Don’t be distressed when a spell or ritual doesn’t work out how you thought it should. Open up your heart and eyes for the smaller, simpler, and, sometimes more magickal things in life.

Alaska and the Ren Faire

So I’m in Alaska!
Actually, I’ve been in a Alaska for about 4 weeks now, sorry for not blogging but I don’t have internet at the campground we’re currently staying at >.<

Spring has sprung here in AK. All around Anchorage dandelions, lupine, forget-me-nots and a little white flower I’ve yet to identify are in bloom. Sadly my camera is broken and I’ve yet to get another one so I can’t show you the beauty all around me…yet!

I’ve done a lot since we’ve been here though. I’ve learned to crochet, got a job as a Front Desk receptionist at a local hotel, been out harvesting wild edibles, had close encounters with moose and black bear (and lived), and I’ve been to the Anchorage Renaissance Fair!

I know, it’s a lot for 3…4 weeks, right?

There’s so much to talk about but for now I just want to tell you about the Anchorage Renaissance Festival.

The Three Barons Renaissance Fair is not as big as some of the other fairs I’ve been to but it was very well laid out and each area seems to be designated to the 3 barons – 1 from Italy, 1 from England, and 1 Moorish Baron. There was plenty of entertainment from the Circus of the Damned to the Alchemist’s Magic Show and tons of vendors from blacksmiths (one was a cutie in a kilt) to the local wenches guild to food galore.

I was very impressed.

One of my first stops was at a vendor booth called Hedgewitchery (surprised?). The owner, Brend M. Beck, was a welcoming lady who was dressed as a peasant herbwife and going about her business making tinctures and liniments in the shop window. She was surrounded by dried herbs and her wares – soaps, liniments, salves and teas.

She welcomed us to the fair and to Alaska and we talked about local herbs in the area and how it compared to Tennessee. She then invited me to a class she’s teaching next month on local plants and herbs – I’ll post the information when she gives it to me ^_^

Another vendor I stopped at was The Renaissance Raven (www.renraven.com). Darlene Cullor is a jewelry artist who specializes in creating “Torch & Kiln Fired Enamels, Repousse, and all times of metals: sterling, copper, Brass.” She had so many beautiful pieces, I was depressed at not having much cash on me to buy a leather rose for a hair piece or any of the other jewelry there.

The vendor that I had the most fun with is definitely the International Wenches Guild – Alaska Local chapter. These bawdy and friendly ladies were offering a variety of items from hand-made masks to moss covered fairy houses to beaded jewelry. While I browsed I heard one of the ladies call out to a scalawag passing by teasingly then turn to another wench and state that she had received a hug from him earlier and he was by far one of the cutest young men here at the fair.

I got a card from them and want to share its statement:

What is the wenches guild? – a loose (not necessarily literally) yet powerful confederation of women who share beliefs:

• ·         A wench is not afraid to stand on her own
• ·         A wench is beautiful, regardless of size, shape, or color
• ·         A wench is unafraid to use body, brains and brawn to get what she wants
• ·         A wench doesn’t need anyone to tell her how to live, love, look or dress

For more information, or if you think you or someone you know might be a wench, go to www.wench.org.

I did as the card bid, thinking I might be a wench too, and learned that the guild is actually quite large. To become a member there is a $43 fee for lifetime membership plus $4.30 shipping for the items they send you – a pin with their motto, a booklet, a certificate to verify you are a certifiable wench to be framed, and cards that offer 1 free kiss to be given to skalawags and other kissable men. I think this is very cute and plan to become a wench as soon as I get the funds together.

In all the fair was wonderful and I look forward to next year when, hopefully, I’ll have more time and money to spend. I did notice a lack of gypsy fortune tellers…maybe I’ll have to correct this ^_~

My Moon Time

Its that time of the month again and if you're a male reader who isn't comfortable with women talking about their menstruation...you should 1. get over it and 2. prolly ignore this post

I am writing about my period because I think it is a form of female magick that is ignored by so many women.
So often, a woman's period is called a Curse. What I think we need to consider is that a period is a very powerful time for women.

Back in times of tribal units and nomadic life and magickal shamanism, etc - the fact that women would bleed for 5-7 days without injury and they lived was a very magical and spiritual and mysterious process. This was celebrated and when girls started their periods they were put through a rite of passage to celebrate this and invite them into womanhood.

We don't see this in Modern Western culture today and its a shame. TOday we see it as a curse, as something painful to be supressed, as a process of punishment in the Christian idea of Eve and the serpent and the apple.
I say eat the apple, celebrate the knowledge and the womanly act of mestruating!

Don't dread the coming of Aunt Flo but accted GodMama Flow and embrace her and ask her to teach you more about what it means to be female.

Menstruation is a time to be still, look within, relax.
Grab a cup of red raspberry leaf tea with some valerian root or chamomile to relax those muscles. Meditate on Divine Feminine and how this part of life relates to that. Reflect on another month of the Childbearing Years that your fertility could be used on something else other than creating another human.
Release the pain of menses and with it any pain you have suffered physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually in the past month.
Celebrate yourself, your health, your blood, your body this time of the month.

Feminine Blessings Upon You
Dawn

Blogging Schedule Change

Hello all,

I'm just posting a brief apology and notice that I'm going through some schedule changes at work and until things are worked out there (if they ever are), I'm going to be a little absent from the blog or my posts are going to be very short and to the point.

For those of you who are wondering what is going on:
I went into work yesterday and was deviated for breaking my scheduled time. When I looked at my schedule (which is normally 9-6 m-f) I found it had been changed over the long weekend to 11-8 without warning. My boss and the woman who makes the schedules informed me the only way to get my schedule changed back is to trade with someone else (the only people requesting trades that I've found work 1-10). The same woman who makes the schedules knew about the change Wednesday of last week...but I got deviated with several others for not knowing about it and coming in at the wrong time.
To top it all off, the woman who makes the schedules knows very well that my husband and I share a car and need to work the same schedule as we live an hour away from town and there's no logical way for him to drive to work and then back to get me.
At this point, I can either go in at 9 and get my full hours and be deviated until they fire me or not go in to work at all because I have no way of getting there...I'm not sure how its going to work out.

Saying a little prayer to the calendar and work gods and hoping that my applications at the hospital and at a few bars for bartending will be accepted and I'll be able to make the choice to leave my current position.

Thanks for listening to my little rant and again, sorry if I'm a lil MIA here in the next week or so. I promise to catch up on my 31 days of Samhain and on the other magickal craziness going on this month.

BB
Dawn

Mail Blessings to Brighten my Day

So my day has been terrible...and now I go to bed with a headache wondering if I will be able to even make it to work at a scheduled time tomorrow.

However, I did receive in the mail my copy of Alice Hoffman's Practical Magic. While I love the movie, I have never actually read the book and am very excited about receiving this. I had actually given up looking for the book due to the cheap price (99 cents plus $2 shipping) and thought it was indeed too good to be true. I was wrong to think so and was also given the pleasant surprise that the book was hardback, not paperback like I had expected.
Ironically, it was just after ordering it through Ebay that I received my Kindle...oh well.

I'll let you know what I think when I finish it ^_^

Listen to Your Instinct

So remember the reading I did that was related to finding a new job?
I didn't jump on the offered job when it was available and now, first day back after a long weekend, I learn that my current job has dropped from kinda sucky to worst hell hole ever!

I could write page after page of rants but suffice to say that the management is disorganized to a point that its making working there unbearable.
Of course, now, the aforementioned job is no longer available to me.
However, a friend of mine might be able to get me a job bartending,which I am certified for.

So, I'll be doing some divination and maybe a 'find a job' spell in the week to follow. Stay tuned for more info later.

Hunting and Magick

Its hunting season here in TN and my husband, as I type, is outside practicing shooting his bow. I was picking up a broken bow of the kitchen table earlier and thought, "This would make a decent wand." This led to many other ideas about how magick and hunting could easily be integrated.

A witch that hunts, or has loved ones that hunt, could do spells that vary from ensuring a kill to protecting the hunter to preventing bad weather.
While I haven't put that much thought into it, I did come up with what I feel are good ideas to integrate into hunting spells.

Use an arrow for a wand or athame.
Consider making camo print robes...could be cute if you go for that sort of thing, plus, they certainly call to the earthier side of magick.
Bless all the hunting clothes they will wear with both protection and health spells
Bless weapons with victory and protection (that they don't hit anyone else other than their intended target)
Blessing the kill after the hunt and giving thanks not only to the gods but also to the animal.

Gods and Goddesses of the Hunt that you can call upon in your spells include:

• Artemis or Diana (especially for bow hunting)
• Cernunnos (especially for deer hunting)
• Skadi (especially for winter hunts)
• Neith (Neit) (especially for bow hunting and Egyptian fans)
• Herne (especially for protection on the hunt or night hunts)
• Sarbanda (an assimilation of Ishtar)
• Horus is also said to be an Egyption God of the hunt

What are your ideas? Do you hunt? Do you use magick while hunting or preparing to hunt?

Pagan Prompts: Artwork (Body Art)

For the Pagan Prompt I thought I would do something a little different and share some Pagan Bodyart that I found appealing and inspiring:

I just love the coloring!

Very simple but beautiful

Gorgeous tree work

I just love this one, its like the YinYang gone Wiccan

I love the whimsy of this one, makes me want one similar to it

Finding Spells

Anyone have a good spell for finding things?

So much has gone missing lately...

My primary tarot deck (including the box and protective stones its with)
My jewelry pliers
My nice, black dress slacks

I'd be really happy if I could find these things...wondering if the fae in the neighborhood are playing tricks on me again. -sighs-

Crafty Witch and Halloween Specials

So I grabbed up a friend of mine yesterday and went to Michael's, the Dollar Tree and WalMart to get supplies to make Witch's Bottles - Damon came along and between the three of us the adult ADD moments were rampant.

One item necessary for the bottles is the bottle itself and I looked and looked in the jewelry, glass and art department for small glass bottles with a cork - nothing. I figures I was just overlooking them so I went to ask a store associate and learned that they were in the Scrapbook department...O.o
I asked why, and its due to the brand of the bottles all being in the same area, which I assume makes sense.

Since I was in the scrapbook department, I looked around a little at scrapbook supplies for my Scrap BOS. In the Halloween collection I saw the perfect paper for BOS pages (all witchy and black and fun) but the book of it was a little out of my price range so I vowed to return the first of November for the lovely paper and went on.

This strange little vow made me think of frugality in witchcraft. We are a group of people who use what we can, what we need, what we can get our hands on for the purpose of changing and bending. I like this concept. The idea of the witch being a creature of necessity and creativity.
That, I think, is also where the Witch's Bottle comes from - a bottle filled with random objects such as bits of broken mirror, bent or broken needles, scraps of cloth, whatever else was lying around the house that could be used in protective magick.
I seriously doubt any person back in ye olden days purposely broke a needle when they weren't sure if they could afford the next one, nor did they waste such a valuable commodity as a mirror or a bit of glass unless it was broke beyond use.

I collected all the things we needed for the bottles and headed back to my friend's house where her hubs made warming rice and turkey soup (with dried habanero that we gave them a few weeks back, Yay for the barter system!) and taught her a little about witch's bottles. We also discussed crafting our own candle holders and had fun sorting out some craft supplies.

Damon, on the other hand, has his own craft project coming along - he bought some fabric at Wally world and is making me some comfy hippie pants. The fabric is black filigree with some purple cotton for the etching and the pockets (so I'll be a gothy-hippie, my favorite) ^_^ and he and the other hubs spent the evening having a beer and  discussing sewing and knitting and I noted the irony of this more than a few times.

Pagan Prompts: Familiars

I have a cat who could be considered a shared familiar between myself and Damon. Her name is Halloween – due to the day we found her and her calico coloring of pumpkin orange, midnight black, and ghost white with moth green eyes.

Halloween talks to us in a way I’ve never seen of another cat (we have 2 others that are very intelligent but not quite at this level) and I’ve also done guided meditations with her – and she was the guide!

Halloween’s astral form varies from looking like herself now, to a larger white cat, to a human form that is tall, white and blonde. The same thing about all these forms is her eyes, the same luna moth color. The feel of her astral projection is both feral and protective, as if she would kill any ill meaning interloper on our journey.

On the down side, Halloween insists on being a part of all of our magickal activities and will yowl and scratch at the door of our bedroom during private meditations. She also in a bit of an energy hog and will snuggle everything from spread tarot cards to crystals laying in the lunar light.

She is also our surrogate fur-kid, especially for Damon. I believe if anything happened to that cat, he would be just as devastated as someone who had a hurt or lost child. 

Viewing the Dead

I’ve seen ghosts. It’s not really that big of a deal. Almost everyone I know has seen one at some point in their life. So when I saw the ghosts of my dead relatives at a young age and on up, usually just after their death or during a time of hardship, I wasn’t afraid.

My fear might have also been stopped by the caring presence of the ghosts I saw at a young age. My grandfather is a constant presence for my. He comes every time my grandmother has a hardship (i.e. a death in the family, one of her 4 heart attacks, etc). His appearance is younger than when he died and always the aura is full of love. I am never afraid of him.

My second encounter was my uncle, just after his death. His presence was reassuring because of some bad feelings during the time he was dying over the four months in the hospital. Again, I wasn’t afraid.

However, I have recently seen a ghost who has shown me that not all appearances are loving and reassuring. The other day I joined my husband up to help out at a relatives house, taking care of her animals while she was gone. It is common knowledge in the family that her house is haunted by another relative who killed herself in the house. While waiting outside the car, I happened a glance up at the house and saw a woman in the window staring down at me and my husband. It scared me. I felt a tightening in my chest and throat and a strange sense that she did not want us there at all.

This was my first encounter with a malicious spirit. I brought the encounter up with my mother-in-law who told me various stories about how this woman has haunted most of the family in stages but is now kept up at the house. She has attempted to kill people in their sleep, poured nail polish over kitchen floors, cussed up a storm loud enough for all to hear, and so on. Most people have seen her at one point or another.


Strangely, the one person I would have liked to have seen after their death was a close aunt of mine. She and I are very similar according to my family. We both are creative, making jewelry and other crafts and we both were herbalists. After she died a little over a year ago, I hoped to just have a simple, reassuring glimpse of her. But never did. Strange how that works out.


I feel like seeing ghosts helps me out with my fear of dying. Its proof to me that there is life after death and that you’re not gone. I’m not claiming I know what happened after we die, or how ghosts contact us. I just feel reassured by their presence, even if they’re malicious.

Pagan Prompt: Wiccan Rede

When I was in high school, I was one of the few pagan students in the entired town I lived in as well as one of the most studied and experienced of the group (next to a young man who was raised in the Wiccan faith). There was a large push by the whole group for covenship and for me to take place as a sort of young High Priestess. I did not and, instead, removed myself from the group in many ways, though they were my friends. I was not ready for that sort of responsibility and now am glad that i made this decision.

My withdrawel from the pagan group at my school and in my town was viewed by many in two very different ways. One group saw this as an act of humility and modesty on my part, encouraged me and my work, and remained close friends to this day.
Another group felt I was being pompous, that my removal was in a way saying that I felt I was too good for them. One person in particular, though she acted as if she was my friend, began to perform certain spells, host certain rites and act in certain ways that were hurtful to myself and many of those around us.
In the end, I felt that if I did not do something to stop her someone was going to get hurt.

I did a simple, yet powerful bind spell on this person. I will not post the spell on here and it is listed in my BOS with words of precaution. After the binding I refused to speak to this young woman again. The binding was fairly thorough and this person found that not only could she not harm anyone but had a hard time performing any magical working. I heard from a mutal friend that her binding has lasted to this day and has caused her some problems in the magical and pagan community she has recently moved into (they will have nothing to do with her).
I did, however, set the spell so that she or someone of ability can break the binding if they do so in love, compassion and with the desire to not harm but help others (the opposite actions and emotions of why I performed the binding int he first place).

I tell this long story in order to say this.
ALL ACTIONS have an EQUAL REACTION! WHATEVER you send out WILL COME BACK! This can be viewed however you wish and be the basis of whatever lesson anyone would like to teach and set creed to: Golden Rule, 3-fold law, Wiccan Rede, Karma, etc. It is simply how the Universe works.

When I bound this person in high school, I did not consider that this act (which was done out of the desire to prevent harm, an it harm none) would eventually come back to me.
Almost a year later exactly, I began to have disturbances in my ability to perform any magical act or even meditate. It felt like my mind was in a fog any time I even thought about doing magic and when I meditated I felt literally bound up. At first I thought I had somehow picked up a leeching energy in astral travel, that recent stress had worn me thin, that I was somehow ill.
Finally, it struck me after a phone call from our mutual friend (the girl I had bound was getting married to another mutual friend). I realized that my binding spell had come back to me.

I worked through this ricochet magic slowly and with as much patience as I could muster. When I mentioned it to a local magical practitioner, she repremanded me not for binding another but for thinking I would be punished in some way for protecting myself.
I do not feel that I am being punished for trying to prevent harm. I don't think the Universe works that way. I think this was merely the Law of reaction. I did this, it was done to me. It is simple.

Ring in the New Year

Merry Meet,
Forgive my lack of posting. Between relationships, school, work, and so on I have not had much time. However, I hope that with the new year this will change.

What to do for the New Year:
Do a cleansing ritual of self and space
Do a Resolution Spell to keep myself in check throughout the new year
Record my first dream of the new year: A Japanese form of Divination
Try harder to keep better account in Blog, journal, forum, etc

I just bought the 2009 Llewellyn Almanac. So far I like the articles and I plan on trying to keep better tracks of important spiritual dates this year.

Consecration

Last night Night and I cleansed and empowered our new altar. It’s so nice to finally have a permanent standing altar after years of makeshift stools and quick-to-hide blankets caused by living in a Christian household. It was also nice to perform something so simple yet so powerful as a blessing with my life-partner.
We’re not quite done with the consecration and won’t be until Wednesday, the last night of this full moon. On that night we’ll also be consecrating some of our new tools such as the wands we harvested back in the spring.
Such work along with the weather makes me anxious for Samhain.

Merry Meet Again

Samhain fast approaches. The very air carries the intense smells of falling leaves, smoke from fires, and the crisp ice of coming winter.
My thoughts are busy with preparations. My physical work will start on the 18th, 13 days from the Sabbat. I tend to work with fairies as the day draws near, to renew my connection with my inner child (a process that is and should be on going), and mediate on the death of the Mother Goddess and the Oak God that harkens the coming of the Crone and Holly King.

Such a magical time is felt by all people, witch and mundane alike. Signs for Trunk or Treats, Fall Festivals, and Harvest Fairs are posted, decorations of warding Jack-O-Lanterns, spooky ghosts, ensnaring spider webs, and enchanting witches are set out, and boys and girls of all religions are fired-up with the energy of Halloween.

Your meditations for the Sabbat could be on ancestors and death for the season is one of endings (and eventual re-births). They could be on abundance and growth as the third Harvest comes. Or they could be on beginnings and the Witch’s New Year.
Whatever your thoughts are on I know they are blessed. Be sure to go outside and enjoy the autumnal breeze, the pumpkin moons, and the crunch of leaves beneath your feet.

Blessed Be,
Dawn